February is for Love, Relationships, & Connection

February is for Love, Relationships, & Connection and Not Just the Romantic Kind…

In a world that can feel increasingly cruel and divided, leaning on your community and relationships are essential. Did you know that the single biggest predictor of longevity of lifespan and being healthy is the quality of your relationships? Yes, it is true. If you are to invest in one part of your life, this is the area that gives you the biggest bang for your buck, good relationships are like food for your soul.

Here are some ways you can boost the quality of your relationships whether the relationship is romantic, a friendship, or a co-worker or colleague.

In Romantic Relationships

When your partner is stressed or hurting, it’s natural to want to jump straight to problem-solving. But most of the time, what they need first is comfort and understanding.

• Be Present and Tune In: Sit with them, make eye contact, and resist the urge to multitask. You can say, “I’m here. Do you want to talk about it or just sit together for a bit?”

• Show Affection through Grounding in Physical Touch: Sometimes physical touch like holding hands, rubbing their back, or offering a hug can be more supportive than words. Ask them if that’s something they would appreciate.

• Use Empathic and Reflective Listening: Repeat back what you hear in your own words. Try restating what they say with something like, “So, your boss criticized you in front of the team, and it felt really embarrassing.” This shows you’re paying attention to their emotions, not just their words.

• Listen to Differences in Coping Styles: One partner might want to talk things through, while the other prefers a hug or just spending quality time together. Emotional support means honoring those differences without judgment.

Boost The Quality of Your Friendships

Friendships also thrive on emotional support, and small gestures often mean the most. Here are some ways to show up in your friendships and prioritize emotional support.

• Check In for No Reason: Send a quick text that says something like, “Thinking of you. How is your day going?” This shows you’re interested in their life and how they are doing.

• Show Up in Good times and Bad: Being supportive also means showing up when good things happen. You can say, “I know how hard you worked for that. I’m so proud of you!”

• Don’t Compete: Don’t try to One Up Your Friend or Shift the Attention to Yourself. If your friend is venting about their breakup, it’s not the time to share your own story unless they ask. Keep the focus on their feelings.

• Offer to Provide Specific Help:  Try taking initiative and saying something like, “How about I bring over dinner tomorrow,” instead of a more vague statement like, “Let me know if you need anything.” Practical gestures often feel like love in action.

How to Maintain Healthy Family Relationships

Family dynamics can be tricky, as history and familial expectations often run deep. But it’s still possible to be emotionally supportive of one another and create healthy family patterns and values.  

• Lead with gentle curiosity

  Instead of asking, “What’s wrong,” say something like, “You seem quiet today. Want to talk about it?”

• Respect Generational Differences

  Some family members may not be comfortable with direct expression of emotion, which could be due to their upbringing. Support can come through shared activities like cooking, walking, or doing a DIY activity together, while leaving space for conversation to arise naturally.

• Acknowledge Effort, not just Outcomes

  Try saying, “I see how much energy you’re putting into caring for Grandpa. That’s a lot to hold.” Validation can lead to connection and create a sense of emotional closeness and safety.

• Offer Consistent Presence

  Sometimes being emotionally supportive means showing up in small, but reliable ways, like calling every Sunday around dinnertime or checking in after a tough appointment.

• Honoring Individual Differences

  Just because two people are from the same parents, it does not mean that they had the same childhood experiences or that they have the same values as adults. Try to hold space that not everyone in the family needs to be the same, and our differences is what makes us unique individuals.

How to Have Positive Relationships with Co-Workers

Workplaces come with boundaries, like keeping connections professional, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a place for emotional support in the workplace. A supportive colleague or manager can make stressful environments more bearable, and having friends are work can even improve your mental wellbeing.

• Practice Active Listening in Meetings: When a teammate shares a challenge, don’t interrupt or dismiss them. Nod, acknowledge, and allow them to finish before offering input. Make eye contact and provide a response, rather than staring at your computer.

• Validate without Stirring up Office Gossip: Try saying, “That deadline sounds overwhelming. I can see why you’re stressed,” instead of tearing down the boss or coworkers.

• Respect Professional Limits: Offer support to your colleagues without prying into their personal lives. Emotional support at work often looks like kindness, encouragement, and empathy for their situation and less about having them spill every detail of their life.

• Model Calm in Stressful Moments. If a coworker is panicking, regulate your own voice and body language. A steady presence can help regulate their anxiety.

• Invite Your Co-worker on a Break: Encourage your colleague to join you in the breakroom for a snack or to go outside for a midday work break. Connecting on activities other than work can be rewarding.

What if I don’t know what someone needs emotionally?

It’s normal to feel uncertain about how to show that you care and the good news is that you don’t have to guess what someone needs. You can simply ask. 

Try something simple like, “Do you want me to just listen, or would it help to brainstorm next steps together?” You can also ask, “Would a distraction help right now, or do you want space to vent?” By giving them options, you show respect for their needs while also taking pressure off yourself to get it “right.” Even if you don’t know exactly what to do, your willingness to ask and stay present is often enough.